5 Annoying Neighbour Sounds and How to Stop Them
Some neighbours can be respectful and well-spirited, but some just drive you up the wall with their noisy antics. Here are 5 ways to shut them up!
Blaring music all hours of the day and night:
Grab a dildo 🥒 and tape it to your wall that's next to your neighbour's. Turn it on. They will wonder what that vibration is. Tell them "It's probably the pipes in the wall." Keep it on for a while. If they keep wondering about it, tell them it'd be best to contact the landlord.
They might have to have the landlord check it out, so for maintenance to get done, they'll have to get a notice of entry, as they are the only ones complaining about it. You turn it off the night before the landlord shows up.
You get to lay back and they get to have their day interrupted. "I could hear it for the past few days, and now, the sound is gone! I don't get it." They blare their music again... just keep doing it - they will never be able to sleep.
Loud stomping down the hallway:
If this occurs at night time, grab some fishing line and thumb tacks. Tie a knot of the fishing line onto both thumb tacks at the bottom, and stick them before the door they're going to... or even between the frame of their door at the bottom (once they've left, obviously) about 1 foot above the ground.
They walk down the hall or open their door, and they'll fall face first.
"Have a nice trip, see you next time you're fucking stomping down the hall! I'll be waiting, and I'll be laughing!"
Dog barking when you're trying to sleep:
Talk to the owner the next day about it. Simple. They tell you to fuck off? Then they've done the worst they can do to you. Or maybe you weren't in good standing with that neighbour to begin with. I guess that means war.
Musical door slamming:
Get an airhorn and a pair of headphones. Headphones are for your ears, and the airhorn is for your neighbour's ears.
The next time your neighbours are playing musical door slamming, have that airhorn ready! They slam their door, run right up to their door, and just fucking BLARE IT!
You can find them on Amazon or one of your local stores might have them. You can also use a stadium / arena blowhorn. They work just about as good as an airhorn, and you won't need to buy more like you have to with an airhorn.
Loud phone conversations:
Neighbour talking so loud on their phone their voice penetrates the paper your building has for walls?
Almost everyone at some point, has to make a phone call where they give out their phone number for identification purposes. If you can act and listen fast, you can get their number. Once you have it, create a script in a "text to speech" or AI recording:
"I am sorry, but the number you had dialed at [their phone number] is currently out of service and has been disconnected for the following two reasons: Calling a phone sex hotline and for sending pictures that make women laugh. Your phone number has been disconnected. Please call this number to talk to customer service to have your phone reconnected: 555-432-9832"
Why this number? https://www.google.com/search?q=555+area+code
And because it's just a random number; the 432-9832 can be any numbers. Not everyone knows this though! If you want to watch a damn good laugh, check out this Family Guy clip where a joke is made in reference to this number: Family Guy Stand By Me Parody
Once you have the recording with this script or something similar, call their number and play it back once they pick up. Make sure it's in a quiet environment, otherwise they will know it's a joke. Well, if they were smart enough, they'd know it's a joke, but that's not the point. It'll be even funnier when they call the 555 number, and it's disconnected too. 😆
The best part about this joke? You don't even have to be anywhere near them to listen to them get frustrated and think there's something seriously wrong going on.
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