Moochers: When Neighbours Go Grocery Shopping Door-to-Door

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When I heard the knock, I didn’t expect a full-course mooch. Bread, bologna, mustard—he was one knock away from a picnic.

Have you ever had a neighbour who is nothing but a mooch, always asking you for what you have? Well, regardless, I know of one in particular that I had years ago. It wasn't just what he would be asking for, but how he would ask for it.

I was in my apartment one day, and someone knocked on my door. It was him asking me if I had a couple slices of bread. I did, but that guy never did anything for me, so I lied, said nothing more, and closed the door. 2 seconds later he's knocking on someone else's door across the hall. "Hey, man, do you have any bologna?" I got a bit nosy, and kept listening. They said no as well... they probably did what I did - lied.

This guy knocks on the next person's door, "Do you have any mustard?"

The slimy SOB was making his rounds so he could make himself a sandwich! 🤣

A relative of his once knocked on my door, asking me if I had salt. This was before I got to know them for the kind of people they really are. So, I felt bad or whatever you want to call it, and I made up a baggy of sea salt. I handed it to her, and she said, "Huh... This looks like what I smoked earlier. I'm going to put this in with my Kraft Dinner." 😐 What the hell?! It's already chock-full of salt, and you're going to add more?! Uncle Roger would NOT approve!

I hope she didn't get the salt mixed up with what she was apparently smoking and feed it to a kid. Mmm... Crack Dinner. Eat up! 😋

Remember, if your neighbours are wanting your food for their picnic, you can always tell them "where to go." 😉

What kinds of things have you been asked for, and was the person able to make a sandwich out of it? ... Or did you give them directions of where to go?


References made:


Check him out if you want a great laugh on him complaining about people's cooking. 😄 

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